Fruit Fly Rodeo

I was reading up on the debt-ceiling crisis and thought yawn, can we get a little more dramatic about this? Just like the Greek or Portuguese or Italian or Irish debt crisis. Whatever, that's all we hear about anymore. Everyone's got troubles with their debts and spending. These things never get solved because some Bilderberg would be out of a job. And that's when I saw the first fruit fly in my kitchen. Annoying little bugger. They're not fast so I slapped him between my palms with a clap. There, back to reading up on Obama and Boehner making jello or some such thing.

But then I saw the second one. And a third. Time to step back from my twitter-generated debt-story links and find what piece of rotten fruit was generating interest for these bothersome pests. I knew that contrary to folk wisdom, fruit flies are not spawned from the fruit. They come from elsewhere (probably my neighbor's trash) because they're attracted to fermenting sugars generated by a rotting fruit. I found an over-ripe onion and potato, but no fruit. Probably the end of my troubles for now, I thought, but I wasn't sure.

I decided to get on the offense and fashioned a fruit-fly trap. I filled a jar with compost-ready fruit and covered it with cellophane that I poked through with tiny one-way holes. I hated sacrificing perfectly good compost for this idea, but sometimes that's what it takes. I made two other traps in different flavors. My thought process here being that I'd give the tiny vultures a choice of trap to make it a little less conspicuous. There's nothing more conspicuous to a fruit fly than a single trap.

My bet is that the fermenting Greek fruit is the rottenest trap of the group and that's where the fruit fly swarm ends up going. So I'm short the euro and long the dollar. I just hope they hate jello.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm short from 1.4361 going into the weekend. This was before Obama held a press conference at 7 p.m.